Tips on Business Success: Building Trust

IF you would want to be a successful businessman, the most important quality you need to develop is integrity.

Your clients and business associates need to know and feel that they can trust you. Given the following qualities below, what would you choose as ideal qualities for a partner in business:

a. high education (Harvard graduate)
b. experience
c. trustworthy
d. wealth.

IN my case, I would not care if he is a Harvard graduate or a rocket scientist, or a math wizard, or is filthy rich and owns a mansion in Beverly Hills. What is important for me is that I can trust my partner, my broker, or my consultant. If I know I can trust you, then I can confide in you my ideas, my secrets, and future plans for business. If trust in absent in a relationship, even in marriage, then that relationship is going nowhere. Better bail out as soon as possible from the partnership.

Let me relate to you what happend last week.

I got an email about a businesss opportunity so I texted the Consultant involved in my cellphone. I was having doubts at the start. I asked God to give me a sign if I would need to push through with this matter because it would require a lot of money from me.

I told the Consultant that I would send my resume and other documents then call him immediately. After three days, I did not have the documents yet but nevertheless I called up the Consultant in his cellphone.

I was having second thoughts actually because this guy only had a celfone as a contact number. He did not have a landline or an address. It reminded me of the cellphone scams I encountered during my stint in Smart Communications as a Customer Care Officer, where scammers would text clueless subscribers and say they won one million pesos. These scammers would then let the subscribers contact them through cellphone. So the subscriber would have to load their sim cards and call the scammer. I thought, that it should be the other way around. When a person wins a contest, the award giving company should be the one to call the subscriber.

Anyway, I gave the Consultant the benefit of the doubt and called him in his cellphone. I was shocked when he said "I already got your Resume, I received an email from you."

I said " You received an email from me?"

"Yes, I got one email from you. Give me two days so I could look at it."

I do not know why he said that because I NEVER emailed him anything. He even asked my age. I thought that if he read my resume, he would know my age.

I did not say that I did not send my resume yet because I wanted to hear where he was going with this. I also said that I got information about him from my friend whom he said he also knew but cannot pronounce and remember his name. I said "His name is Ronny." And he said,

"Ow Yes, Ronny."

This got me curious and made my Spider senses tingle. I felt immediately that I could not trust this guy.

Sometimes people say things just to make you know that they are busy, that they are doing something and that they are on top of everything when in fact they have do not have the slightest idea about what you are talking about. They say that they are arranging everything and that everything is okay when the truth is is that they have not done anything yet.

I felt that this guy is the same guy as above. He should have just said that he did not receive any email from me. I would have said that I did not send it yet and I may have even apologized for it. But he did not.

I gave him my email and I waited for two days. He did not send me anything after two days.

I got my sign and I thank God for giving me a clear mind to see it. That little voice within you is God's voice speaking. We can hear it if we listen. That is the voice we can really trust, the voice from God, our true and best business partner.

Top 25 Tips on Being a Good Family Man

Here are the top 25 tips to be a good father to your children and husband to your spouse:

1. Be there. Working fathers today come home tired, stressed, and still thinking about the pressures of work. Because of this, even though they are physically present at home, their minds are one thousand miles away. It is important that fathers be physically, emotionally and mentally present at home. How often have we heard that we should leave our problems in the office, at the office elevator? This is so true and it is easy to do especially if you realize that as a father and husband, your main purpose in life is the welfare of your child and spouse. This is the only way to live a fulfilled and meaningful family life.

2. Spend time with them. Again, you need to spend quality time especially with your children who are constantly seeking your attention.

3. Shut off the TV, Computer, and Internet. These electronic gadgets will slowly take you away from your family and you won't even know it. Producers of films and tv shows have actually studied how to glue our eyes, ears and our other senses to the television by lessening the number of intervals per show. The internet is filled with pornography, network games, etc. that are there to particularly take us away from reality. Is this the life that you want? Imagine all of you in front of the television, staring at the tv, not talking to each other, not even during commercials. Is this the family life you want to live? I hope not.

4. Look at their eyes and listen. When talking to your children and spouse, look at their eyes and listen to them like there is no other sound in the universe but their voice. They will appreciate the attention and respect that you give them. Also, this will build your child's self-esteem which is essential to his/ her growth.

5. Love their mother. Show affection to your spouse in front of your children. When children see that their parents love each other, they will be more secure about themselves and will feel that they are in the right place.

6. Keep secrets in the four walls of the house. Need I say more?

7. Plan a special time for them at least once a week. Take your family to a date at least once a week. If necessary, cancel other appointments. Your family is more important than any other thing in the world.

8. Show your officemates that youf family comes first. When your officemates want to ask you out in the weekend or in a drinking spree, say that you would really want to go but cannot because your family is waiting, which is really true! Just think. Who are the only real people who are genuinely excited to see you arrive home? When an office event coincides with a graduation or school play, kindly beg off from the office event and say that it is your daughter's graduation. You don't even need to justify your decision on this.

9. Share the house chores. Your wife has worked hard all day to take care of the children, clean the house, wash the clothes, cook the food, tutor your children, guard the house, etc. She is tired at the end of the day. You are not justified to say that you are tired too because of office work because if you only realize it, work at home is harder. So shut up and clean those dishes instead of watching tv.

10. Treat your wife as your spouse, best friend, and girlfriend. Remember the marriage vows you made? Your spouse should be your everything and no one else.

11. Plan a vacation with your family at least twice a year. You need not settle for a summer vacation. You can also spend vacation during Christmas semestral breaks. Plan the event with the entire family and see how this lights up the spirits in your home.

12. Have dates exclusively with your spouse. Leave your children with your parents-in-law for the meantime and go out on a date with your spouse. This will renew your feelings for each other and make you remembers those times when you were still single.

13. Avoid office relationships. Many people become trapped in this cycle of sin and philandering. Temptations are everywehere especially in the office where your officemates are always looking and smell good and dressed well. It is your duty to fight the temptation and focus on why you are working in the first place. You are doing this for them. For your child and spouse's future. Having relationships outside marriage is the most selfish and painful thing you can do. Imagine if this was done to you by your spouse.

14. Eat together. This is one of the most romantic thing you can do everyday because your faces are near each other and you can see her up close. Try it and see how it makes each of you feel.

15. Share stories. Be interested in whatever your child and spouse say and ask questions. Ask about their day and be genuinely interested.

16. Be her Prince Charming.

17. Sing her songs. Look at your spouse while singing your favorite songs. Though she may find it corny, she will definitely like it.

18. Be there even if you are not. Call them at send them text messages. With the advances of technology now, it is very easy to communicate with your family even if you are away.

19. Never be away too long. Once of the reasons for broken families is that families are not meant for long distance relationships. In the Philippines, there are about 9 to 10 million Filipinos abroad working. Just imagine how many families are incomplete. How many children do not see their parents until after two or three years? And all of this just to bring home dollars? I think the long term effect to children is much worse. Money will last for a couple of years but the time spent away from each other will have more detrimental effects. This is why we should learn how to be entrepreneurs and make money here and not abroad.

20. Be patient. Patience must be partnered with understanding. The only way to be patient and not be stressed while hiding your emotion is to be understanding enough on why your spouse is acting the way she is.

21. By your spouse flowers. Who said that flowers should be given only on Valentine's day?

22. Plan your family's future. You cannot continuously live you working life everyday the same way as before. Do you see yourself working in the same position after 5 or 10 years? Do you consider yourself working at all after that time? Every day should be special, you should work towards a dream or a goal for your family everyday. Plan to retire on the age of 40 or 45. Plan on how you can earn enough to live the next 40 years with at least the most basic luxury in life.

23. Be the best you can be. This is an advice for everyone in all aspects of life. If you can be the best and you know it, you will have the confidence to face the challenges of being a father. And remember that no man can claim to be successful in any other area of life if he is not successful as a father or husband.

24. Make each day the best day for your family.

25. Make God the Center of your family. This should be number one but I want you to remember it clearly so I placed it in number 25. God brought you together as husband and wife, and His gift of life is the reason why your children came forth in this world. He is also the binding force Who will keep your family together, bound together in love and respect.

This is my top 25 list and I know there are a lot of other tips to be a good family man. I hope this helps you in realizing the importance of your role in the family and your real purpose in life as a father and a husband. Good luck.

How to be the Best Father and Husband you can be

They say that behind every successful man is a woman, or even a son or a daughter. The bottom line is, those who are not successful as a father or a husband can never claim to be successful in business, sports, or any other profession. That is why I am posting this article about the family by Todd Demuth to bring us back to earth and feel what really matters.
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I will not pretend to be an expert; I can only relate how as a father and husband what I have changed in my life in order to become the best I can be.

First of all, I tell myself that I am not on this earth for my benefit. I am here for my wife and my three children. I'm pretty shallow when I think about what I want out of life. It becomes quite evident from the true rewards of being a family man start to fulfill my quest in life: to have a purpose.

I have discovered that even if I was President of the company, I am not irreplaceable at work. The world outside my home will go on without me without so much as a ripple in the water. However, time is all I have to give my wife and children. I give them all I have available, because is I should ever leave this world, it would leave this home with a huge void...one that cannot be replaced by anyone but me.

But it hasn't been easy; I have "aspirations" of financial success, climbing the corporate ladder, becoming famous and important...but the only one who would benefit would be me. Even then, I know it would not satisfy. It would only lead to more of the same.

I used to work two jobs to make as much money as I could; now I just do one, and while I am there, I do the best I can with what I have. However, when I am home with my family, I am home. On weekends and times I have with my family, I make myself available to them - not my golf game, not my hobbies, my pasttimes. All of those things can wait. For instance, I had a rough week of work and was looking forward to spending some time reading and relaxing - but the family was ready to do something together. I put down my book, got my creaky bones out and we went.

Oh sure, I have a few things I do that are "my thing." These occur usually once every month or two. I have discovered that being with my family is "my thing."

I may identify with my career, as it seems most of us do; but the secret to being the best husband and father is to identify with your family. I may not be on Earth for my benefit, but that has been to my benefit.